Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Truth

I'm currently taking a Religious Studies class in University, "Introduction to the Bible." Originally I thought it would be an easy class, one that I could just slide by and get good grades, and give myself a break. It didn't take me long to realize that my assumptions were as far from the truth as I could ever imagine.

My proff is funny, witty, and everything he says is intentional and thought provoking. He's a biblical scholar who thinks the bible is a load of crap. I'm still trying to figure out why someone who doesn't believe in a word it says would want to spend his life studying it. I guess there's a lot of them out there though.

What I'm seeing is that I'm finally having to struggle inside myself to really figure out if I believe it to be true or not. I'm so glad I've decided to take this class, not because I want to be persuaded out of my former beliefs but because I'm seeing another side of it all. I'm finding that my beliefs still drive everything I say and think and do, no matter what the situation. I may not be living things out but deep inside things are still there. No matter how much evidence and persuasion I am getting in my class against the Bible as truth I can't get away from the nagging in my spirit that says it is. I read the words, I study the words, and I listen to the words, whether they are completely historically true or not has no relevance for me to the truth of God.

Now whether I agree with God, whether I'm angry with him and want nothing to do with him, that's a whole different story. But is he real? I can't get away from Him and so I have to conclude He is.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A New Year, A New Day, A New Beginning

Well it's 2009 and I can hardly believe 2008 is blown by us already. It's been a year of change, recognition, redemption, and love. I have really enjoyed this past year, it's been hard but very good for me. The start of my nursing program has been the biggest accomplishment in my life because it is me walking out my dreams.

On another note, with 2009 comes new resolutions. You know the ones people make and never keep? Yeah those are what I'm talking about, but along with the resolution comes the resolution to keep your resolution. Just a long winding road but the resolutions always bring you one step closer to what it is you want to achieve so I don't discredit them. Dream, and resolute to your hears desire.

For me I decided to take a step closer to a healthy me. Healthy in every way, spiritually by beginning to see myself as a whole person directly connected to God; mentally by really engaging in my studies; emotionally by letting myself feel again; and physically by lifestyle changes in diet and exercise. I'm really excited to see where this resolution takes me. What I am even more excited about is that I am embarking on a journey with my mom and my sister.

My sister was my hero growing up, I liked everything she liked and wanted to do everything she did. I treated her kids as my own and they are still a huge part of who I am today, but as I grew up and life took us both on very different paths we grew apart. My mom has always been a vital part of my life, she read to me, nurtured me and was there for me in every way she knew how and I am so grateful for who she has been in my life.

We are doing our own "Biggest Loser" and although we're miles apart its something that we can do together and celebrate together. I'm so very excited to have a new chapter with my sister and my mom and my prayer is that this would bring us closer than ever.