Monday, March 9, 2009

On Thursday I spent the evening with a very close friend of mine and with someone who was never a close friend but we can always relate to each other when we are together. We spent hours talking about life, about the things that really matter. We shared our struggles and our joys; it was an evening of vulnerability of openess and of honesty. I cannot tell you how much this evening meant to me, the fellowship was amazing. There was no judgement and no suggestions for quick fixes, it was purely listening and understanding. There are not many people whom I have been able to be so brutally honest with and it was truly a breath of fresh air for my wary soul. I left that evening with a renewed sense of hope for my life, I no longer feel alienated and alone. I can see that this epidmic of struggling is not just found in me but rather if we were to look around we would see that it is an epidemic of struggling found within the "church" I use that term lightly because I am unsure whether I would be considered a part of the church by the "church members" any longer, regardless I feel I still am a vital part of this body of Christ.

Something we spoke about while we were together was the idea of the symptom and the root of the problem. Often we are directed to fix the symptom but the problem is that even if that symptom were to disappear the root of the symptom would still remain and another symptom would reappear. If we ignore the root we really aren't treating anything and we won't ever really feel better. We will never feel free and liberated if we don't get down to the root. This is not going to be a quick fix in fact it will be a long drawn out process of years, most likely your whole life but I truly believe that journey will be worth it. I desire to see a change in mindset in my generation we are literally whithering away into our struggles unaware of what this is doing to the state of our generation. One by one we are falling down denouncing our faith because we think that is the root of the feeling of oppression when really that's a symptom; there is something much deeper going on here much much deeper.

Now that I am realizing this I really need to do something but that is where I am stuck. I guess I need to start exploring the root of my symptoms. This is gonna hurt but I'm just beginning to believe that it really is worth it.

2 comments:

doxasky said...

I love you and am praying for you and the church. Many of us tend to go through the same struggles, whether we realize it or not. It is always nice to find others who are going through something similar to you. And to be able to talk about it in an open, honest, vulnerable way is oh so beautiful. May God bless you through your journey my friend. Miss you.

Expat From Hell said...

You have the necessary tools to move through this Journey, my friend. You have your faith, your wits, and a guiding sense of the Spirit within you. You also have friends. Often they are the headlights blowing through the fog. Keep up the good work, and keep writing about it! I enjoyed reading your blog.

ExpatFromHell